Picture Story: Daffy's Lower Half

[AngryBeavers]

Here is a new game I thought up. Where I start a story, based on the picture provided, and then the next members continue the story based on what the picture consists of. It's sort of a chainlink fanfic story. I'll start.

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/warner_brothers/looney_tunes__back_in_action/bugsdaffy.jpg

Bugs: I told you not to stand so close to that bomb! Look what it did to your lower half!

Daffy: Yeah, but look! I've made my own connect-the-dots project.

Bugs: Oh, brudder. Well, we better go find a way to get you a bottom half. Any suggestions?

Daffy: We could call ACME. The have a never-ending supply of everything.

Bugs: Okay. (takes out cell phone)

To be continued..... by the next user.....

[Daffysleftfoot]

Cell phone starts ringing

Bugs: Start talkin', it's your Sprint minutes.

Phone: I caaaaaan seeeeeeeeee yooooooooou.

Bugs: Well, me and Daffy are outdoors you know. Lots of people can see us.

Phone: But I'm looking at both of you through a scope.

Bugs: Is your breath dat bad? I'm coitainly glad you phoned then.

Phone: Grrrrrrrrr! I have a sniper rifle aimed at you, you dope.

Bugs: Did you remember to take the safety off?

Phone: Hold on I'll check. *KA-BLAM*

Bugs: Did you shoot yourself?

Phone: No!.............. SHUT UP!

Bugs: Wait, I know who dis is. It's none other than............

To be continued.........

[J. B. Warner]

BUGS: Elmer, is dat you?

ELMER: (turning off his voice disguiser) Oh, you got me, wabbit. I figured that since I can never outwit you and that cwazy duck face-to-face, I might as well take up sniping. Heh-heh-heh-heh.

BUGS: Where are you anyway?

Bugs turns around and sees Elmer waving from a clock tower.

ELMER: Hewwo!

BUGS: Look, doc, we need to find the duck a prosthetic lower half. Now, do you know the quickest route to de ACME warehouse?

ELMER: Oh, I don't know where that is. I've awways twusted Ajax for aww my hunting needs.

BUGS: T'anks, you've been no help at all. Oh, by the way...wabbit season.

DAFFY: Oh no you don't! Duck season! Fire!

A bullet fires from the clock tower and knocks Daffy's beak off. Bugs promptly hangs up.

DAFFY: (reattaching his beak) You're dethpicable, you know that?...So now what do we do?

BUGS: Hmm, we need to find out how to get to the ACME warehouse, so it only makes sense to ask their number one customer...

DAFFY: Looks like we're off to the Southwest desert. I'll get the zinc oxide, then.

To be continued

[Boy Wonder]

Daffy: I heard I could lost weight if I could connect the dots.
Bugs: Maybe its Maybelline?
Daffy: WHAT?!?!?
Bugs: Yeah, just rub some Maybelline on the "too fat" parts and see your body disappear in a few seconds.
Daffy: Well, I found this in a easter egg for a DVD based on my life.
Bugs: Oh, you can't get out of this unless I eject the disk and see you are at about lets say 245 pounds.
Daffy: Yeah, you raised my self-esteem.

[J. B. Warner]

DAFFY: Anyway, enough of this banter, when do we get to the desert?

BUGS: Well, if my calculations are correct, we oughta be right under Albuquerque.

Bugs drills a hole out of the ground and pops up. He squints in the desert sunlight.

BUGS: Bingo! Hey, Duck, come take a look at this.

Daffy pops out, and Bugs points to a pile of birdseed with a piece of fishing wire buried under it.

http://toolooney.goldenagecartoons.com/images/fanfic/fanfic3.JPG

DAFFY: Hmm, free food! I've always thought birdseed was a little dry, but hey, beggars can't be choosers.

Daffy scoops up the seeds and swallows them. Immediately the fishing line yanks him out of the hole and across the desert, over several cacti and finally pulling him to a stop before Wile E. Coyote, holding the business end of a fishing rod. Wile E. snaps his fingers in frustration and drops the rod. Daffy dusts himself off as Bugs walks over.

BUGS: Having fun yet?

DAFFY: I don't know what you're basing that on, but no.

BUGS: Wile E. Coyote! Just the man I was looking for. So, what's up, Doc?

Wile E. points upward to an anvil hoisted over the road. The Road Runner is quickly approaching, evident by the dust cloud in the distance.

ROAD RUNNER: Meep meep!

Wile E. holds up the end of the tied-down rope keeping the anvil in place and raises a hatchet, preparing to cut the rope in two.

BUGS: Hey, Lobo, whenever you can spare the time...

Wile E. shushes him. Finally, the Road Runner zooms by and Wile E. cuts the rope - and the anvil stays suspended in midair. Perplexed, Wile E. walks over to where the anvil should drop and looks up at it. Daffy examines the rope.

DAFFY: Oh, here's your problem, it's just snagged between these two rocks here...

Daffy loosens the rope and goes flying, getting yanked through the pulley wheel. The anvil lands atop Wile E.'s head, and Daffy lands on top of the anvil, disheveled.

BUGS: Eh, I knew it was gonna happen, I just wanted to watch.

To be continued...

[Matthew Hunter]

Bugs: "Eh, I don't think the coyote's in the mood to help ya today...but I'm sure he's flattened...err, flattered that ya asked. Come on Daffy, let's keep walkin'. Maybe there's somebody else in dis desert who can repair yer lower half."

Bugs and Daffy walk down the road.

Daffy: "I'm THSO thertain of that. Look rabbit, there's a rock over there, maybe it can help me. Hey, that cactus over there looks like a friendly feller. Road sign? Oh yeah, I know the sthpeed limit now! And you know what, we need to break it and get the heck outta here!"
http://toolooney.goldenagecartoons.com/images/fanfic/fanfic5.jpg

Bugs: "Calm down, Daffy. I think the heat's gettin' to ya. Let's go sit in the shadow of that rock. If any more hot air gets into that head of yours, who knows what can happen...ya got enough of that as it is!"

-They go to a shady rock and sit down against it.

Daffy: "Yeah...maybe I need to cool off. Whenever the heat gets to me I lose my cool. My temper-it gets the bestht of me. Ever see thoseth cartoons I did with that Mexican rodent? I didn't wanna be mean to him, really, but that Mexican desert heat! It drove me NUTSTH!"

Bugs: "As if ya had to be DRIVEN nuts to begin with! Ya know, I saw da craziest thing the other day. I was burrowin' under a coffee bar and decided to come up for a carrot latte. There were these computers in dere with somethin' called the internet on 'em, and one guy was readin' a page that was all about you! It was did chainletter sorta thing arguin' over your bad temper in some of those later cartoon pictures you did. They liked ya better in your younger, wilder days."

Daffy: "Hey, I'm an artistht! I have matured pastht all that sthlapsthtick tomfoolery. No more "woo hoo" this and "hoo woo" that, brother. Bethidesth, I got migrains from all that bouncing around on my head!"

http://toolooney.goldenagecartoons.com/images/fanfic/fanfic2.JPG

Bugs: "Naw, I just think ya got bitter as ya got older. Say...did ya ever have the feeling you was bein'....WATCHED?"

Daffy: "Aw, now THAT routine's old hat!"

Bugs: "No, I think somebody's watchin' us from behind dis rock."

-Wile E. Coyote jumps out from behind the rock where Bugs and Daffy are sitting.

Wile E.: "So, little friends. I suppose ruining the work of a genius is all fun and games to your infantile minds. Bah! I spent months planning that trap, and you two ruined it for me in two minutes! Now I don't have anything to eat!"

Daffy: "Yeah, well it ain't exactly every day ya thsee a pile of bird theed lyin' in the middle of the road, and the leastht thing I exthpected was a booby trap! Bethidesth, it didn't work on me anyway! It was a dud!"

Wile E.: "Well, it is just as well. I am a conoissour of other game poultry besides road runners. Which is why I have followed you, my edible acquaintance. By the way, I am also quite fond of rabbit, it tastes rather like chicken."

-Wile E. Coyote reaches for Daffy's neck, Daffy bristles and gets in Wile E's face, and begins dressing him down.

Daffy: "Now look here, ya mangy sack of fleasth! THISTH little black duck ain't your meal ticket! Lay one grimy claw on even one of my pristhtine black feathersth, and you're gonna wind up in a can of Wolf brand chili!"

-Wile E. grabs Daffy anyway.

Bugs: "Hey, you! Drop the duck! Can't ya see he ain't exactly a poifect specimen? He's got troubles mac...ya wouldn't wanna eat him. Oh, and I almost forgot...he's missin' part of his lower half too!"

Wile E.: "My word! Quite unusual...oh well, I will call my culinary creation with him "erased duck, ala Wile E. Coyote, genius.""

Daffy: "Bugs! -Gack!- Help!"

Bugs: "Drop da duck, Emeril, or I won't tell ya the secret to catchin' a road runner."

http://toolooney.goldenagecartoons.com/images/fanfic/fanfic4.JPG

Wile E: "You KNOW that? Why, I have been searching for YEARS to find the perfect method!"

Bugs: "Uh huh. And I'll tell ya what it is. Butcha gotta let go of da duck, or I won't tell ya."

Wile E: "Why sure, I'll....no, wait a minute. Waiiiit a momentary increment of time. This isn't a trick is it? You're not trying to flimflam me into releasing your little friend here, are you?"

Bugs: "The deal stands cactus breath. Let go of da duck, and I'll tell ya how ya can catch all da road runners ya want. I 'tink dat's a fair trade, don't you?"

Wile E: "I am afraid you have given me an irresistible incentive. You simply MUST tell me how to catch a road runner!"

-Wile E. lets Daffy go, he gasps for breath, as he's been clutched at the neck this whole time.

Daffy: "-PANT--WHEEEZE--...You....you, I don't like."

Wile E.: "So, my cottontailed friend. What is the secret to the roadrunner capture equation? I must know!"

To be continued......................................... .......................

[Pietro]

Bugs: Well, ya see, doc, da secret ta catchin' Road Runners is simple - it's all in the feet.

Wile E: What do you mean?

Bugs: I'm sayin' ya gotta outrun da boid in order to catch him.

http://toolooney.goldenagecartoons.com/images/fanfic/fanfic1.JPG
Wile E: FAH! I've already tried that - dozens of times! Only to come to the result of failure!

(He grabs Daffy by the neck again)

Daffy: AWK!

Wile E: I KNEW this was a trick all along. You never can trust a rabbit.

Bugs: Eh, wait doc, dat was only part of what I wanted ta say. Now, in order to outrun yer meal ya must find some sort of invention dat actually woiks!

(Wile E. releases Daffy)

Wile E: Go on...

PICK UP HERE...

-Pietro:daffy:

[J. B. Warner]

BUGS: Let's see, you got an ACME catalog on ya?

WILE E.: Of course. I don't care whether or not I fail, it just gives me incentive to try harder the next time I order one of their products.

Daffy gives a loud false cough that sounds suspiciously like "loser". Wile E. hands Bugs the catalog, and he looks through it. His eyes stop on the mailing address - 1374 Nudnik Avenue, Hollywood, CA. He then looks elsewhere on the page and spots a plug for a nuclear-powered jet pack.

BUGS: Here's your solution, my furry feral friend - jet propulsion.

WILE E.: A jet pack? Why, I don't believe I've ever used one of those before. It all seems so obvious now! The Road Runner doesn't fly, so all I have to do is attack from the air! Gad, I'm such a genius!

DAFFY: Credit where credit is due.

Wile E. tears off the order form from the back cover and fills it out, stuffing it in a nearby mailbox. Three seconds later, a delivery truck zooms by, dropping Wile E.'s crate out the back doors.

BUGS: Ah, but you gotta love rush delivery.

Wile E. straps on the jet pack.

WILE E.: Now, I'm off to catch that Road Runner, so I won't be talking to you anymore, but thank you for your help!

BUGS: Hey, anything for a pal!

Wile E. shoots off into the distance.

BUGS: Of course, I don't see what that has to do with him...

DAFFY: So did you get the address?

BUGS: Yep - looks like we were closer than we thought. The warehouse is right in Hollywood!

DAFFY: Back into the underground, then.

Bugs spins his ears, leaps into the air, and drills into the ground. Daffy follows him.

DAFFY: Show-off.

Meanwhile, Wile E. is in hot pursuit of the Road Runner, fifty feet above the road. He dives down with his arms outstretched - but the Road Runner suddenly stops, and Wile E. crashes through the pavement. The sound of him blasting around underground can be heard until he shoots out the side of a cliff. It is then that the jet pack sputters and dies, and Wile E. falls to the crevice bottom. He crawls out of the crater his impact left in the ground and holds up a sign - "Never trust your enemies".

To be continued...

[Nick]

(They arrive back in Hollywood)

Bugs: Look there’s the studio! Lets get back in the hole!


Daffy: I’m sick of this underground travelling. Lets steal a car.

Bugs: That’s not a good idea.

Daffy: Ah, you don’t take advantage of being a csthelibrity.

(They walk up to the car, and climb inside)

Daffy: You’ll be blown away by my fantastic driving skills, Bugs!


(He reverses it into two cars)


Daffy: Whoops. Got the silly thing in reversthe.

(He drives forward into a lampost, then turns around and drives, on the wrong side of the road)

Bugs: You're on the wrong side of the road you know.

Daffy: So? They get out of our way!

(They drive into a Police motorbike which somersaults in the air and crashes)

Policeman: (calm voice) Bubs. You shouldn't drive on the wrong side of the road you know... BECAUSE YOU WRECKED MY BIKEAND YOU'LL PAY FOR IT. (calm again) Is that car yours.

Daffy: Yes!

Man (offscreen): WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING WITH MY CAR?!

Policeman: Well. Well. That wraps things up. Now get down to the station house with me!

To be continued!

[Daffysleftfoot]

Brooding in jail

Bugs: Yeah! Steal a car! We're celebrities! They can't touch us!

Daffy: Cram it! If I want sarcasm I'll move in with Janenne Garofialo. And, PEYEW! Did you even take a bath this morning?

Bugs: I even brushed my overbite. You must have eaten some spicy wings again. You know what that does to your system.

Daffy: Aw no! Don't blame your stink bombs on me.

Pepe Le Pew walks over.

Pepe: Allo, gentlemen. Eet ees so nice to 'ave some cell mates for a change.

Bugs: Pepe Le Pew? What are you doing in here?

Pepe: Zat femme fatale skunk, she finally sued me for 'arassment. And zee judge 'appened to be a militant feminist as well. Since she was a female of the feminine sex so I tried to seduce my way out of thees prison sentence. But, zat only made theengs worse. Le sigh.

Bugs: Hey, don't worry, le doc. With some help from you, we're all getting out of here.

Bugs pulls out a zip-loc bag and proceeds to capture as much of Pepe's odor as he can. Then he zips it up and puts it by the wall.

Bugs: Nyeeeeh, anyone got a match?

Everyone looks but can't find one.

Bugs: Nevermind, I'll ask the guard. Hey, ah, Wojohowitz, I brung along dis book for me to read in prison but I'm afraid I left me reading glasses at home. Could you scare up a pair if you please.

Guard: Sure, I got some. But I brought a steamy little romance novel to read during my night shift. I'll be needing them back then.

Bugs: Coiteny, thanks doc.

Bugs puts the glasses in the sun and aims the beam at the bag. Pretty soon it explodes.

Daffy: SWEET SWEET FREEDOM!!!

Bugs: C'mon Daffy, let's get you a lower half.

Pepe: Hmmmmm, living a life without zee bottom half. I don't think I could do it.

To be continued......

[J. B. Warner]

BUGS: Now, if you're ever gonna get your abdomen back, I suggest you obey the law, Doc.

DAFFY: Yeah, yeah...now where's Nudnik Avenue, anyway?

BUGS: About ten blocks thataway. We might as well take a cab, eh?

DAFFY: Fine, but don't expect me to pay - my wallet's in the pocket of my pants, which I never wear.

Bugs steps onto the curb and holds up his arm.

BUGS: Eh, TAXI!

A cab immediately stops in front of them. Bugs and Daffy hop in the back seat and see that the front seat is seemingly empty.

DAFFY: Hmm, we must have gotten one of the self-propelled models.

Bugs looks in the front seat and sees that it isn't empty - as it turns out, Speedy Gonzales is at the wheel.

BUGS: Speedy? I didn't know you drove.

SPEEDY: Si, senor Bunny. Work theese days, she ees so slow, I take a second job to make ends meet, no?

DAFFY: Well, regardless, we need to get to the ACME warehouse in a hurry. Vaminos, buddy!

SPEEDY: Just seet back and leave the driving to me! I get you there faster than you can say "holy frijoles". Andale, andale!

Speedy pulls on a string dangling in front of him, and it drops a weight onto the gas pedal. Bugs and Daffy are thrown backwards from the force.

BUGS: Well, apparently he's the fastest mouse in all of Los Angeles, too.

Speedy rounds a few more corners, cutting off several drivers. Finally, they arrive in front of the ACME warehouse. Bugs and Daffy jolt from the sudden stop.

SPEEDY: Here ees your destination, senors! If you ever feel the need for speed again, seemply hail down Speedy Gonzales!

Bugs and Daffy exit the cab, which promptly shoots off down the road again.

DAFFY: I'm starting to remember why he bugged me so much in the sixties.

BUGS: Well, here's your warehouse! Now we just gotta go inside and order an ACME Artificial Duck Posterior.

DAFFY: Let's just hope they've got the 2004 model.

They head for the door, but stop suddenly when they hear a familiar roaring voice.

"Not so fast, ya mangy varmints! Don't think this place ain't got no see-curity!"

They turn around to see Yosemite Sam, dressed in a blue security uniform.

BUGS: It's always somethin', ain't it?

To be continued...

[Matthew Hunter]

Sam: "Just who do you think you are, marchin' in here like ya owns the place?! And...you there, featherhead...whar's the rest a ya?!?"

Daffy: "Thorry for the tresthpasthing, thir....but I thimply mustht find a lower half! I got partially erasthted,and I need to procure an Acme Artificial Duck Posthterior...or thsome cel paint."

Sam: "Not from here ya won't! We only sell through the catalog, so you'll have to go through that! The warehouse is top secret, ya varmint!"

Bugs: "Eh...we understand ya doc, loud and clear. But the latest issue of da catalog doesn't offer the Duck Posterior. And I found dis address in da back of dat very issue. We figured we could ask here. Suppose ya could be a pal and take a look for us?"

Sam: "If it ain't in the catalog, we ain't sellin' it, whether we got it or not!"

Daffy: "Look buddy, this isth a matter of life and duff!"

Sam: "You varmints are tryin' my patience! Nooow, git outta here!"

-Sam pulls out his guns and starts shooting, Bugs and Daffy dodge the bullets and run off around the corner.

Daffy: "Thpoiled sthport!"

Bugs: "Eh....it looks like we're gonna have to find some other way ta get in dere..."

to be continued.....

[Philo & Gunge]

:bugs1: and :daffy: hide in a dark room.

:bugs1: : I think we lost him.
:daffy: : Good, now where's the light. (he finds the light flicks it on and we see :bosko:, :honey: and Fozy)
:bosko: : Why hello dare!
:bugs1: : Who are you?
:bosko: : I'm Bosko and this is my girlfriend Honey and my buddy Foxy.
:daffy: : What are you doing down hear.
:bosko: : Where's your lower half?
:daffy: : Verrrrrry funny. :rolleyes:

Suddenly there's a banging on the door of the room.

:daffy: : Mommy.

TO BE CONTINUED....

[J. B. Warner]

From the other side of the door, Sam's voice is heard.

SAM: Thought you could sneak in under my nose, eh? Well, I got ya this time, you ornery galoots! Now open that door!...You notice I still didn't say "Richard"?

Bugs immediately starts piling boxes of ACME merchandise against the door.

BUGS: Eh, there's no way this stuff'll be heavy enough to keep him out. What else we got?

FOXY: Don't worry, I got an idea.

Foxy puts his fingers in his mouth and whistles. From behind a stack of boxes, Goopy Geer and Roxy emerge and shove a piano in front of the door.

GOOPY: There, that oughta do it. Now, howsabout a li'l music to liven up this joint?

Goopy sits at the piano and begins playing a jazz tune, while Sam continues to pound on the door. Roxy dances to the music.

ROXY: Ooh, baby, play that song of sin!

DAFFY: You know, I think I recognize you guys...weren't you cartoon stars of some sort?

BOSKO: We were back in the early 1930s. That was when Hugh Harman and Rudolf Ising had their own studio with Leon Schlesinger.

BUGS: Yeah, I heard somewhere that Hugh and Rudy left when Leon, rest his pennypinching soul, wouldn't switch to color cartoons.

HONEY: That's the rumor, but the truth is that we were attacked back in 1933. I remember it well - we had come to the ACME warehouse to select new props for our cartoons when someone grabbed us from behind, shoved us into this room, and locked the door!

DAFFY: But the door was open when we came in.

FOXY: It WAS? Man alive, all these years we'd just assumed!

BUGS: So who do ya reckon tried to sab-o-ta-gee your careers?

BOSKO: I betcha anything it was that ungrateful jerk Buddy. He'd wanted to be the star of Schlesinger's cartoons ever since we first began work, but he couldn't act worth half a lick.

HONEY: When we went missing, Harman and Ising left the studio and Schlesinger hired Buddy out of desperation.

DAFFY: Hang on, something doesn't add up. First, if you've been in here since 1933, how do you explain the Bosko cartoons that Hugh and Rudy made at the MGM studio?

BOSKO: Imposters! They redrew us and eventually turned us into ugly black stereotypes. Do I look even remotely African-American to you?

BUGS: Heck, I got no idea what you're supposed to be. But this guy looks an awful lot like a certain mouse I know.

FOXY: Rub it in, why don'tcha.

DAFFY: And second, what the heck does this have to do with me getting my bottom back?

BUGS: I think the bigger priority is getting out of this room. Fortunately, I got meself a plan.

Bugs spins his ears again and drills a hole in the floor.

FOXY: Wish I'd thought of digging.

Daffy, Bosko, Honey, and Foxy follow Bugs down the hole. Foxy emerges and grabs Goopy's coattails, pulling him into the hole behind him. Roxy promptly follows. Once they're gone, Sam finally bursts the door open, knocking the boxes on top of the hole and obscuring it from his view.

SAM: Ooh, dag-blast it, them ornery critters musta done disapparated! I hates magic tricks.

To be continued...

[Philo & Gunge]

Our heros end up digging all the way to the Japenese island from "Bugs Bunny Nips The Nips".

:bugs1: : Somehow dis place looks mighty fimillar.
:bosko: : Guys, I think Bugs is right!

That Japense soilder dude suddenly appears from nowhere.

Japence Soilder Dude: (continusly yells fake Japenece)
:daffy: : What do we do now?
:honey: : I'll do my Betty Boop impression.
:daffy: : Wait! Wait! Stop the story. (a record stopping can be heard) That would be out of character Honey.
:honey: : Your right, that's me and Bosko's evil TTA counterparts.
:daffy: : Start the story!

They continue to run until they fall into a pig pen.

Foxy: Well, we got color. Brown, that is.
:bosko: : ICK! Now I look like that MGM imposter.
:bugs1: : Somehow I think that.... (takes out "Looney Tunes: The Ultimate Visual Guide" out of nowhere) the pig immating Steamboat Willie in dis book is going to come out of the mud.

Suddenly :ham: rises from the mud

:ham:: Why h-h-h-h-h-greetings. I'm P-p-p-p-p-p-pory Pig.
:bugs1: : You were the guy who discovered me and took me to Warner Broders, aren't you.
:ham:: Y-y-y-y-y-oh, sure. There's someone else I want you to meet! P-p-p-piggy, Fluffy! Common out!
:bosko: : Piggy? Fluffy? Something tells me those names sound famillar.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[Matthew Hunter]

Foxy: "Wow, I've never been down a rabbit hole before. Only a fox hole!"

Bugs: "Oh, so you're a fox? I thought ya was supposed to be a squirrel."

Roxy: "Yep, we're foxes all right!"

Foxy: "You in more ways than one! Rowr Rowr!"

Bosko: "So whatever happened to that Buddy jerk anyway, the dirty ****?!"

Goopy: "Easy there, Bosko. That mouth of yours almost got you fired back in the day, and it'll get you into trouble again someday. I ought to know, I've been listening to you swear for years!"

Bosko:"Aw, ********! I let 'er fly once on screen! once! And you can bet that Buddy will hear worse than that when I find that cur!"

Daffy: "You know, you may not get the chance. I heard the guy went reclusive after he got fired back in the day...and then went nuts and came out, and tried to kill a new generation of Warner characters a couple years ago. He's probably dead now, who knows what Warner Studio security did to him for that! Hey,Bugs, fling that dirt a little to the left....I'd have sod in my teeth right now, if I had any."

Bugs: "Sorry, ya just gotta tolerate that in underground travel."

Honey: "ooh, Bosko...it's scary down here!"

Bosko: "Aw, quit whining Honey! It's better than that dark, dusty room!"

Honey: "Yeah, but now it's darker, and dustier!"

Bosko: "But at least there's a way out."

Honey: "I still don't like it."

Daffy: "You're tellin' me, thister! -ptooey-HEY, Bugs! Get one more piece of gravel in my mouth and I'll...I'll...."

Bugs: "Pipe down, we're almost there."

Bosko: "Hey, you up there? Just where the **** are we going, anyway?"

Daffy: "Yeah, where?!"

[Philo & Gunge]

They dig into :mickey:'s living room

:mickey:: Say, what are you un-Disney cartoon characters doing here?
:bugs1: : But...
:mickey:: No buts! Out, out, out! (kicks :bosko: :bugs1: :daffy: :honey: Foxy, Roxy and Goopy Geer out)
:bugs1: : What do we do now? We're stuck in a Disney universe! No acess to Warner Bros. and we're with the polor opposite!

Foxy glares at :mickey:

Foxy: Mickey?
:mickey:: Foxy?
Foxy: Oh, cousin! (:rabbit: walks up)
:rabbit:: Oh, Mickey! I missed you.

:bugs1: : Quick guys! To that mansion! (:bosko: :bugs1: :daffy: :honey: :mickey: :rabbit: Foxy, Roxy and Goopy walk into a mansion where a typical :tomcat: :jerry: situation goes on, until :scrooge: comes in)
:scrooge:: What are you be doing in me house? You have 30 seconds to explain.

[J. B. Warner]

I'm continuing this from Matthew Hunter's last post (no offense, Philo, but I can't think of anything for yours).

BUGS: Well, if I'm readin' this map right, we oughta be right under the Warner Bros. studio if we travel fifty more feet thataway.

BOSKO: Really? Hey, you think when we get there, we can get our old jobs back?

DAFFY: That depends on whether or not you mind sharin' the screen with some live-action B-listers in underwritten roles.

BUGS: Hang on, guys, this is it! Let me just get some light in here...

Bugs drills upward and finds himself in the middle of the street in a suburban area of Hollywood.

BUGS: Aw, nuts, I musta had the map sideways again.

HONEY: Well, the point is, we're out of that factory.

FOXY: Look! Sunlight! I'd forgotten how good it felt!

Bugs and the others climb out of the hole and head for the sidewalk.

BUGS: So the studio must be that way. No problem, I'll just...

DAFFY: Oh, no you don't!

Daffy snatches the map out of Bugs' hands.

DAFFY: Since you've been leading us around, we've gotten in deeper and deeper trouble thanks to your lack of navigation skills! Well, I'm sick and tired of walking around without a bottom half. So I'm gonna set off for the studio myself! I'll call you once I've got a replacement ph-ph-pothhterior.

Daffy walks confidently into the street and is immediately run over by a bus. He climbs off the pavement, shuddering slightly.

DAFFY: (dazed) Twinkle twinkle, little star...

FOXY: That can't be pleasant.

BUGS: Come on, Duck, let's get you some ice for that pointed head of yours.

DAFFY: Thanks, Bugs...you're a pal...

Bugs escorts the still dazed Daffy onto the sidewalk and up to the front door of a house. He knocks smartly on the door and waits as he hears footsteps.

BUGS: I know the old lady who owns this joint - she'll fix us up with a safe way back to the studio for sure.

The door opens, and Granny pokes her head out.

GRANNY: Oh, hello there! What can I do for you?

BUGS: Eh, what's up, Dollface? You got an icepack for a pressed duck?

GRANNY: Why certainly! You and your friends come right in.

Bugs and the others enter the living room, where Tweety is swinging contentedly in his cage.

GRANNY: You fellows wait here while I get something for your duck friend. It ought to perk you right up!

She exits.

BOSKO: She's another one of those subsequent characters, I take it?

BUGS: Since 1951 and still goin' strong!

Sylvester pokes his head around the doorway into the living room and looks surprised.

SYLVESTER: Thufferin' thuccotash! When did we get vithitorth?

BUGS: Hey, Sly. What you been up to?

SYLVESTER: Keep it down, fellath! I'm tryin' to catch the bird again, and I can't do it when you're givin' away my pothition!

ROXY: I'd say your position's already pretty wide open.

Sylvester looks up just in time to see Tweety, flying over his head, drop a flower pot on him. He falls to the floor.

TWEETY: Bad ol' puddy tat, twyin' to eat me when we got company! Where are your manners?

BUGS: You might want to consider a fish diet, pal. Anyway, we won't be here long - as soon as Granny gets back, we're off to the studio to get Daffy a replacement for his missing half.

SYLVESTER: Why, I can get the duck a new pothterior real eathy!

Daffy shakes his head and is suddenly coherent again.

DAFFY: You can? How?

SYLVESTER: I can't jutht tell ya - you gotta help me get thomethin' I want firtht...

BUGS: As if I couldn't guess what that is.

To be continued...

[AngryBeavers]

ANNOUNCER: We interupt this program to give you a special news bulliten! Gabby Goat is missing. And his absence has gone unnoticed for several decades. Call 1-800-crime-tv. Remember, you can make a difference.

We now return to the regularly scheduled program.

[Pietro]

Daffy: What a revoltin' development THIS is!

Bugs: Yeah, doc, all this lower half-searchin' is gettin' me HUNGRY! Luckily, I packed meself a carrot or two for a snack.

Daffy: I'm getting a tad hungry myself.

(Daffy grabs a sandwich offscreen and consumes it hastily)

Daffy: There - ye inner duck is now satisfied!

(Daffy gets up and walks away, a sandwich is visible in his lower missing half)

Bugs: Eh...yeah.

(Suddenly, Cool Cat appears and spots Daffy)

Cool Cat: Like man, wow - this is like too cool to believe, Daddy-O, like, a duck without a lower-half!

PICK UP HERE...

-Pietro:daffy:

[J. B. Warner]

DAFFY: You! I haven't seen you in thirty-five years! Where'd you come from?

COOL CAT: Like, I've been boppin' from studio to studio tryin' to find work since 1969, man! And believe me, it ain't easy for an outdated stereotype like Yours Coolly.

BUGS: Look, maybe you can help us out here. The cat's asked us to help him catch the canary, but we're really plannin' on givin' Sly a taste of his own medicine. You up for some mischief?

COOL CAT: I'm there, man! Let's make the scene, hep cats! You dig?

DAFFY: ...You want to stop talking like that?

COOL CAT: Not really, no.

Back inside, Granny returns to the living room with an icepack for Daffy. She stops when she sees that only Bosko, Honey, Foxy, Roxy, and Goopy Geer are around.

GRANNY: Now, where did those boys get to?

GOOPY: Last I saw of 'em, they were settin' off with that cat of yours. He had a big roll of blueprints too.

GRANNY: Oh, he's after my Tweety Bird again! Well, I'll just have to teach him a lesson he won't soon forget.

Granny knocks on the wall, then crouches down to a mouse hole. Hubie walks out.

HUBIE: Yeah yeah, Granny, what's cookin'?

GRANNY: Sylvester's plotting to catch Tweety again. Do you boys think you could put a stop to him?

HUBIE: Yeah yeah, sure sure. Just let me consult with my associate. Hey Bert, come 'ere!

Bertie comes skipping out of the hole.

BERTIE: Yeah yeah, Hubie, what's the good word, huh?

HUBIE: We got woik to do! You remember what we did to Claude the last time we saw him? Well, what I got in mind is ten times better than that, sure sure!

BERTIE: Hee hee hee! Riot! You got the smarts around here, Hubie!

HUBIE: It's the only way to be, you know.

BERTIE: Yeah yeah, sure sure.

Bugs and Daffy walk back in the house through the back door, with Cool Cat in tow.

BUGS: Now, here's the plan. We put Tweety's cage in the kitchen, and when Sylvester comes in to nab the bird, we give him the ol' frying pans to the face, got it?

COOL CAT: Wild, man.

DAFFY: Finally, something I'm good at - deviltry!

Unbeknownst to Bugs and Daffy, Hubie and Bertie have strung an anvil over the kitchen floor, also anticipating Sylvester's arrival. Bugs sneaks back into the living room and swipes Tweety's cage.

TWEETY: We gonna get back at da puddy tat?

BUGS: You'd better believe it, buddy. And the best part is, you ain't gotta do a thing. Watch this.

Daffy and Cool Cat stand with their frying pans raised. Bugs picks one up and yells into the other room.

BUGS: Hey, Sylvester! We got the bird! And I mean the good way!

Sylvester comes barreling into the room.

HUBIE: Now, Bertie!

As soon as Sylvester enters, he is immediately flattened by the anvil. Bugs swings his frying pan and misses; Cool Cat's hits Daffy in the face.

COOL CAT: We missed! Drag.

DAFFY: (slurred) Missed, he says...

Sylvester hoists the anvil off his head with difficulty.

SYLVESTER: Thome dayth it jutht ithn't worth it to try and eat breakfatht.

Hubie and Bertie roll on the floor with laughter.

BUGS: Well, I think the cat's learned his lesson for today. Now, we've still got the matter of a duck with no lower body, so let's book it to the studio, eh?

DAFFY: Now that's the brightest idea I've heard all day!

Bugs, Daffy, and Cool Cat make for the door. Granny calls after them.

GRANNY: Wouldn't you like to stay for tea?

BUGS: No time, dearie, we gotta fix the duck first.

BOSKO: Wait for us!

The black-and-white toons follow them out the door. Sylvester wobbles back into the living room, massaging the lump on his head.

SYLVESTER: If anyone needth me, I'll be lying very thtill in my kitty bed for the nextht two hourth.

To be continued...

[Daffysleftfoot]

All seven characters walk through downtown Hollywood when they all hear some ragtime being played.

Bosko: Gee, dat shore does swing!

Goopy: It's coming from over there.

Everyone runs through the back alleys. The music gets louder and louder. They end up outside a club called The Jumpin' Jive Dive.

Foxy: Ooh wee! That sends me. Come on gang!

Daffy: Why not. I could use a wet whistle right about now.

They all walk in and feel as though they've stepped into a time machine. Everything feels like the '30's. The fashions, the music, the 5 cent drinks, everything!! The band ends their song.

Lead singer: Greetings all you hep cats out there. Welcome to the Jumpin' Jive Dive where it's the 1930's EEEEEEVery day. And now, fo yo listening pleasure, we'll play that Louie Armstrong favorite: Just a Gigilo

Music starts.

Bosko: Come on guys, let's show these ickies how to cut a rug.

Bosko, Honey, Foxy, Roxy, and Goopy tear up the dance floor much to the delight of all the patrons and the band.

Daffy: Yikes! If I danced like that I'd need hip surgery afterwards.

Bugs: Speaking of hips. Shouldn't we be finding you a new lower half?!

Man in a trenchcoat, fedora, and sunglasses approaches Bugs and Daffy.

Man: Hey, bud, did I hear youse right? Did you say somethin' about needin' a lower half?

Daffy: Um......yeah.

Man: Come wit me.

Man walks down a dark hallway.

Daffy: Should I actually go with him?

Bugs: Nyeeh, dis story would get very thin if you didn't.

Daffy: You've got a point there. I'll be back in a flash.

Daffy follows man into dark hallway.

To be continued............

[J. B. Warner]

DAFFY: All right, I've been deprived of this for too long - make with the butt!

MAN: Not so fast. First, you gotta make with the money.

DAFFY: Well, I don't have my wallet, but I can bum it off the rabbit - he makes three times as much as I do anyway. How much?

MAN: It'll cost ya $75,000.

DAFFY: Seventy-five thousand?!? That's prepothterous! I will not pay.

MAN: Don't mess with me, duck, I've got a gun under this coat and I ain't afraid to use it!

DAFFY: Hah! I've had my beak blown off every way imaginable! No gun can harm me! Gimme that gun!

Daffy yanks off the man's trenchcoat - and is shocked to see that it isn't a man at all. To his surprise, it's Sniffles on stilts.

DAFFY: Sniffles? What the heck are you doing here?

SNIFFLES: Oh, I hate to admit it, but I haven't worked in years, really I haven't, because nobody will hire me, really they won't, it might have something to do with my size, because I'm so small, see, I wouldn't fit in many good paying jobs, really I wouldn't...

DAFFY: Okay, shut your cheese hole. I get the idea.

SNIFFLES: So do you have any money, cause I could really use some, really I could...

DAFFY: All right, look, we're on our way back to the Warner studio now with a whole bunch of other out-of-work toons. If you wanna come and see if you can get your old job back, you're welcome.

SNIFFLES: Oh, that would be wonderful, really it would, because I've always wanted to get back into the cartoon business, really I have...

DAFFY: Look, you're pushin' your luck, buddy!

Back in the main room, Bugs and the other toons applaud the act onstage as it finishes - except Cool Cat, who is slouched in his chair.

COOL CAT: Drag, man, this place is totally squaresville, you know? Let's hit a disco or something!

LEAD SINGER: Now, ladies and gen'lemen, we wanta welcome a special guest to our fine establishment this evenin'. Please put ya gloved hands together for the one, the only...Miss So White!

A curtain opens onstage, and So White, illuminated by the spotlight, begins to sing "Sleepy Time Down South". Bugs thinks for a moment.

BUGS: So White...hey, I know her! She was in a one-shot back in the day!

COOL CAT: She sure is fine, I'll give you that.

Bugs stands up and waves to her.

BUGS: Hey, So White! Over here! It's me, Bugs!

So White nonchalantly dances down the stage over to Bugs' table.

SO WHITE: Bugs Bunny? Well, howsabout that? I ain't seen you in over sixty years!

BUGS: No kidding! How's it been?

SO WHITE: Not so hot, you know? After de Censored 11 got passed, I ain't been able to find work in de public eye anymore.

BUGS: Well, you know, they're startin' to cut back on the restrictions nowadays. They got uncut "Looney Tunes" DVDs now, and I'm sure it's only a matter of time before you see audiences again.

Daffy walks in, carrying Sniffles.

DAFFY: Hey, look who I found!...Hey, look who you found.

BUGS: You know, I never before realized how many Looney Tunes stars are out of work. One of these days, we oughta let the Warner suits know about this.

Suddenly, the door of the club bangs open - it's Yosemite Sam again, with his guns drawn.

SAM: There you are, ya feisty critters! Ah knew ah'd track ya down eventually! Now get over here so's I can plug ya!

DAFFY: We may be talking to those suits sooner than you think.

SNIFFLES: Oh no, a man with guns, that's dangerous, really it is...

Bugs grabs Sniffles and stuffs him into his pocket. The black-and-white toons realize what's goign on and immediately stop dancing.

BOSKO: Well, this obviously isn't gonna end with a musical number.

COOL CAT: Let's split the scene!

So White follows the toons as they book it out the back door. Sam leaps after them.

SAM: Come back here, ya crimfrittin' scalawags!

The toons run up the alley to the street.

DAFFY: Now what? We've got nowhere to go!

BUGS: Oh, yes we do!

Bugs sticks out his thumb. Immediately, Speedy's cab pulls up again.

SPEEDY: Buenas noches, amigos! Where you need me to take you?

BUGS: Warner Bros. Studios, and step on it!

FOXY: Are you nuts? There's no way we can all fit in there!

SO WHITE: Don't you worry, I gots an idea!

So White whistles. Instantly, de Sebben Dwarfs pull up in their jeeps.

DWARF #1: You called, So White?

SO WHITE: We needs to get to de Warner Studio fast!

DWARF #4: Got it!...Uh, dat ain't on North Van Ness no more, is it?

DAFFY: No, it's in Burbank.

DWARF #6: Right! Hop in, folks!

Foxy, Roxy, Bosko, and Honey hop in the jeeps. So White, Bugs, Daffy, Cool Cat, and Sniffles take the cab. All of them are off like a shot when Sam arrives.

SAM: Razzafrazzin' doggone ornery idjits! They're gettin' away! Ooh, I needs me a ride...

The bus that ran Daffy over earlier pulls up. The door swings open to reveal Porky in the driver's seat.

PORKY: All ab-b-b-board! Next st-st-st-stop, Warner Bros. St-St-Studios!

Porky looks at the camera.

PORKY: C-c-convenient, ain't it?

Sam hops on board the bus.

SAM: Follow them varmints!

The bus takes off, and the chase is underway...

To be continued...

[Daffysleftfoot]

The cab and bus crash through all sorts of street signs and public buildings causing much property damage.

While driving through McDonalds.

Bugs: 15 CHEESEBURGERS AND 15 MILKSHAKES TO GO PLEASE!

The food flies in through the open window.

Daffy: Hey! Where'th my Bugs Bunny Beany Baby? (That I can use as a voodoo doll later.)

While driving through Compton. Coal Black leans out the window.

Coal Black: YO HOMIES! WHASSAP?!

Brother on the street: OOOOOH! Girl, you're lookin' FIIIIIINE!

Brother #2: Hey, Coal, how about lettin' me get wit some o' that later.

Coal Black: Boy, you'd need at LEAST 10 zeros at the end of your paycheck before dat happens.

Finally the chase ends up on the LA freeway.

Meanwhile, back at he bus.

*RRRRRRRING! RRRRRRRRRING!*

Sam: Would ya git that consarn phone?! It's driving me batty!

Porky: (aside) I th-th-th-think that happened l-l-l-l-looooooong before this phone call.

Porky: (answering the phone) H-h-h-hello?!

Phone: Listen up, infidel. That bus your on will explode when it goes over 50.

Porky: D-d-d-d-don't you mean "under 50"?

Phone: To avoid lawsuits, it's over 50 this time you got that?

Porky: Y-y-y-y-yes I-i-i-i-i-i mean um d-d-d-d-d.....

Sam: OOOOOOOOOH! Gimme that phone! Well, what'y'a want?!!

Phone: Like I told the pig, there is a bomb somewhere on the bus that will....

Sam pulls holds up the bomb he found under his seat.

Sam: You mean this one right here?

Phone: What the........ how did you............. OOOOOOOOOOH!........... I knew I should have sent one of my more professional guys to hide it. *click*

Sam: I got an idea! When I gve the word, put the hammer down!

Porky: B-b-b-b-b-bbut-but-b-b-b-bbut-but.......

Sam: JUUUUST DO IT!!

Sam puts the bomb at the back of the bus. When Porky puts the hammer down, the bomb explodes catapulting the bus forward faster than ever. During flight, the bus manages to scoop up the cab Bugs, Daffy, and others are in. They all end up infront of Warner Bros studios.

Bugs: Hey, everyone, we made it!

Daffy: WOO HOO! Prop Department, here I come.

Bugs: Hold it Doc. There's a sign over top the WB sheild. It says "Under new management. Property of yeee wooooo YAAAAAAA AL-QAEDA!!!"???

Daffy: Does this mean we have to dismantle a deadly global terrorist organization and establish world peace before I can get my lower half back? Well, let's get started.

To be continued.......

[Philo & Gunge]

:bugs1: : To the Bugsmobile!
Batman-like transition
:bugs1: : Oh, wait a minute. I rode my bike today.
Suddenly everyone is crampped onto Bugs' bike
:daffy: : How many picture stories can have dumb Batman parodies in them is beyond me!
A traffic cop pulls them over
:bosko: : Now you've done it. :rolleyes:
:bugs1: : (gulp) Officer, I can explain. You see...
The officer reveals to be Scooby-Doo
All: SCOOBY-DOO????
Scooby: Rub, rat's me.
:coolcat:: Why are you here.
Scooby: Rye, ri have Raffy's rower ralf.
:daffy: : You what?
Scooby: (in sudden New York accent) I have Daffy's lower half!
Foxy: Yes, our plot is back!
Scooby: (in John Wanye voice) But your coming with me, partner.
Scooby arrests all of them, shoves them on his motorcycle and sends them off to jail.
Jailguard: Okay, yall get 1 phone call.

TO BE CONTINUED....

[J. B. Warner]

EDIT: Note that this is continuing from Daffysleftfoot's post, since Philo posted while I was still typing.



BOSKO: Brother, things sure did change while we were gone.

BUGS: There's no way in hey that this can be right...

SNIFFLES: We should ask somebody what's going on, really we should, uh-huh, then we can get more information, really we can...

DAFFY: Fine, but let ME do the talking.

Daffy sees Foghorn Leghorn walking up to the studio entrance.

DAFFY: Hey, Foggy, what's up with the terrorists taking over our studio?

FOGHORN: Terror-I say, terrorists, boy? Don't be jokin' about that sorta thing! What are you, crazy? (aside) Boy's about as sharp as a marshmallow.

DAFFY: But the sign says...

FOGHORN: What sign?

Foghorn looks at the sign atop the Warner Bros. shield over the gates.

FOGHORN: Boy, you-I say, you been had, son! This is someone's idea of a sick joke! Gag, that is.

SAM: But who in the heck would do that?

FOGHORN: My guess is, someone don't want us in here and was tryin' to scare us off.

BUGS: Pssh! Whoever it is, they're pickin' on the wrong rabbit.

A voice is heard offscreen, laughing maniacally. Everyone looks in horror as the gates swing open to reveal a small figure, rendered entirely in black-and-white tones, with an evil look on his face.

BOSKO: ...Buddy?!?

BUDDY: What are you doing here, Inkspot? I thought I locked you up in the ACME warehouse!

BUGS: So you're the infamous Buddy I've heard so much about? Would you mind tellin' me what you're doing on our studio?

BUDDY: This used to be my place of employment! From 1933 to 1935, I was Warner Bros.' only star! And it was a wonderful feeling! People were laughing at my pictures! I was everything that Bosko only wished he could be!

HONEY: Bosko is ten times the actor you ever were. The only reason you were such a star is because theaters HAD to take your cartoons!

BUDDY: I choose not to listen to you. Anyway, that all changed in 1935, when THIS jerk brought his speech impediment onto the scene!

Buddy points angrily at Porky.

PORKY: N-n-now, let's not go b-b-blaming each other here, I'm j-j-just an innocent pawn in this whole th-th-thing!

BUDDY: And then came you! And you!

Buddy points at Daffy and Bugs.

BUDDY: But where was I? Out on the streets, that's where! Lantz, Columbia, Paramount, Disney - they all turned me down. Even MGM wouldn't take me, and you can imagine how horrified I was to find that Harman and Ising had recreated Bosko and Honey there! That's why I had to sneak in to their studio back in the late 1930s and slip in those repulsive new stereotype model sheets! If I was going to be rejected by audiences, I was taking the reincarnation of my enemies with me!

BOSKO: So you're the one that made us so offensive!

SO WHITE: Hey, watch whose race you're callin' offensive, hunny chile.

BUDDY: But still, Bugs Bunny had gone on to replace me as the biggest Warner Bros. star. And there was nothing I could do about it - the Warner studio was too heavily guarded for me to sneak in and tamper with those pictures. So I was left to writhe in my own disgust for sixty years! And still, nobody remembers me! Well, all that's about to change!

Buddy whips out a remote control and presses a button. The doors of the nearest soundstage swing open, and out comes a familiar contraption - the Dip Machine from the end of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit". The toons all gasp.

DAFFY: To borrow a phrase from a fellow lisper, "Sufferin' succotash!"

BUDDY: I reconstructed it piece by piece from the scrap metal left behind in Toontown. And now, I'll do what Cartoon Network has tried to do for three years - destroy the Looney Tunes!

BUGS: Not if I can help it!

Bugs yanks the remote out of Buddy's hands and holds it high over his head. Buddy jumps, but can't reach it.

BUDDY: BLAST! Curse my diminuitive character design!...No matter, I can still do this by hand!

Buddy makes a dash for the Dip Machine. Bugs, Daffy, and Speedy run after him.

SPEEDY: Don't even theenk about eet, greengo!

Daffy leaps on Buddy as he climbs the ladder to the driver's seat. Buddy tries to throw him off and aims a kick at Daffy's crotch - but of course, there's nothing there.

DAFFY: Ha! Outsmarted you that time, didn't I?

Buddy punches Daffy in the face, and Daffy's beak goes flying off again. He loses his grip and falls to the pavement.

DAFFY: Ow...

Buddy hops into the driver's seat and starts the ignition again. The machine roars forward. Immediately, Bugs spins his ears and digs another hole.

BUGS: Down we go, folks!

Daffy, Speedy, Sam, Porky, Foghorn, Sniffles, Cool Cat, Bosko, Honey, Foxy, Roxy, Goopy, So White, and de Dwarfs all dive in after Bugs.

COOL CAT: Like, this little dude's crazy! And not in the good way, you know?

BUGS: There has to be some way to defeat him...

DAFFY: There's no way we can do this alone! I'm too young to die!

PORKY: You're s-s-sixty-seven years old.

BUGS: Wait! I have an ingenious idea!

Bugs pulls out his cellphone again and presses a button with the outline of the Warner Bros. shield on it. Waves are seen coming from the antenna on top. They transmit to the phones of every other Looney Tune - Elmer in the clock tower, Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote in the desert, Pepe le Pew and Penelope in a city park, and Sylvester, Tweety, Granny, Hubie, and Bertie in the suburbs. It even reaches Mars, where Marvin the Martian is asleep at his console. He wakes up when he hears the emergency signal.

MARVIN: Ah! A distress call from Earth! It looks as if some renegade toon is causing panic and mayhem at the studio! Isn't that lovely?...Actually, no, I suppose it isn't.

Marvin skitters off to his spaceship, with K-9 bounding after him, and they take off for Earth. Back at the studio, Bugs waits impatiently for the toons to get there.

SAM: Am I the only one who wants to know what in tarnation we're waitin' for?

FOXY: I'm a little confused myself.

Suddenly, Elmer bursts out of the dirt next to Bugs, holding a shovel.

ELMER: You wang, wabbit?

BUGS: Elmer! There you are!

Moments later, Wile E. Coyote bursts onto the scene with an ACME Giant Drill Bit, with the Road Runner right behind him. Above ground, Buddy notices the pavement shaking.

BUDDY: Stop all that rumbling and come out so I can dissolve you!

The ground suddenly bursts apart, and out of the ground emerge hundreds of Looney Tunes characters - recurring, minor, and one-shot - each armed with a cartoon weapon of some kind. Buddy looks distraught.

BUGS: (to Buddy) Eh...give up, Doc?

BUDDY: Uh...never! Not as long as I have thousands of gallons of...

Buddy searches for the lever to operate the dip cannon, but can't find it anywhere.

BUDDY: What the...OH, NO! Of all the pieces I couldn't find, it had to be the one that operates the cannon?

DAFFY: Fellow cartoon characters...RUSH HIM!

The swarm of Looney Tunes ambushes the Dip Machine. Buddy's face is one of pure horror as Bugs leads a mass of toons up the ladder to the driver's seat.

BUDDY: I'm starting to think that maybe this wasn't worth my trouble.

To be continued...

[Philo & Gunge]

A voice is heard

Voice: Congratulates Buddy. (http://forums.toonzone.net/images/smilies/knd1.gif walks out from the darkness) You have become an offical Cartoon Cartoon. (http://forums.toonzone.net/images/smilies/ppg2.gifhttp://forums.toonzone.net/images/smilies/ppg3.gifhttp://forums.toonzone.net/images/smilies/ppg1.gif fly in)

http://forums.toonzone.net/images/smilies/ppg1.gif: Let's kick some Looney Tunes butt.
:buddy:: Goooooood Buttercup.

http://forums.toonzone.net/images/smilies/shake.gif walks in

http://forums.toonzone.net/images/smilies/shake.gif: OOPS! Wrong set!

Walks off

http://forums.toonzone.net/images/smilies/dexter.gif: Success!
:bosko: : There is one thing that can stop them.
All: What?
:bosko: : The power of music! (singing) Lady, play your mandolin! Lady, let that tune (slowing down) begin... er, um... No help, eh?
:bugs1: : No help.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[J. B. Warner]

BUGS: It's times like this that we unleash our fiercest weapons!

Gossamer, the Tasmanian Devil, the Crusher, and the Do-Do bird leap forward. Taz begins growling and whirling, sucking the Cartoon Cartoons into his tornado and spinning them off the Warner lot. Gossamer begins picking up characters and tossing them to the Crusher, who throws them over the horizon. Finally, Buddy is the only one left.

BUGS: You should know that there isn't a single show on Cartoon Network better than the Looney Tunes.

BUDDY: You may have defeated my friends, but you'll never defeat me! Not while I still have the power to -- GYAAAAHHHHH!!!

Buddy falls down a hole that the Do-Do bird draws on the ground beneath his feet. Flames shoot up from the bottom.

DO-DO: Deep one, wasn't it?

Cookie and Towser run out of the crowd.

COOKIE: Buddy! Don't worry, honey, I'll catch you!

She and Towser leap down the hole after him. Bugs lifts the hole off the ground and throws it away. There is much rejoicing among the Looney Tunes.

BUGS: Well, my celebrated colleagues, we can now rest easy knowing that everything has been solved!

DAFFY: OH NO IT HASN'T! Throughout everything that's happened, I STILL don't have my lower half back! Isn't ANYBODY going to do something about this?

BUGS: Why, Daffy, you've had the power to get your lower half back all the time! Watch this.

Bugs snaps his fingers. A giant paintbrush swoops into the scene and paints Daffy's lower body back on.

DAFFY: You mean to tell me that the whole time, all I had to do was...

BUGS: Eh, let it go.

PORKY: W-w-well, now that the studio is ours again, maybe B-B-Bosko and his friends here can become re-emp-p-p-emp-p-p-...get their old jobs back!

BOSKO: Could we, really?

BUGS: Eh, there's only one way to know for sure...

The next morning in J.L. Warner's office, Bugs, Daffy, Elmer, and Porky talk to their boss.

BUGS: So, whaddya say, J.L.? You've been pushin' for a move back to the classics for a while recently, you know.

J.L.: Well, I...

DAFFY: That's good enough for me! Welcome back to Warner Bros., guys!

Bosko, Honey, Foxy, Roxy, Goopy, Cool Cat, Sniffles, So White, and de Dwarfs all cheer.

BUGS: So, you guys think you can adapt to the new studio all right?

BOSKO: It seems like a great place so far! Look at this, I found a frog that sings and dances!

Bosko holds up Michigan J. Frog. He sits in Bosko's hand, motionless.

BOSKO: Wait, he was doing it before...

BUGS: Eh, put him down, it just ain't worth it.

DAFFY: You know, Bugsy, this little escapade of ours has taught me a real lesson.

BUGS: Not to stand so close to bombs?

DAFFY: No, to make the most out of my career! I've spent the last fifty years being an avaricious and selfish jerk. Nothin' against Chuck Jones, of course, but I'm sick of being so unlikeable! From this day forward, I'm cuttin' loose again!

BUGS: Well, that's good to hear, Doc. The world can always use another crazy duck.

DAFFY: That's what I thought...RABBIT SEASON!

Elmer fires his gun, and Bugs ducks in time for the shots to make dents in his ears like they did in "Rabbit Fire". Daffy "woo-hoos", hops in place, and shoots out of the room, leaving a duck-shaped hole in the door. Bugs smiles and sighs.

BUGS: Well, it's like I've always said - don't take life too seriously; you'll never get out of it alive!

He winks at the audience as the iris closes.

PORKY: Th-th-th-that's all, folks!

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So now what, does someone start another story in this thread or a new thread?