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View Full Version : Semi-OT: Just-For-Kicks Movie Review - Titanic: The Animated Musical


Marty26
05-02-2009, 12:26 AM
Well, curiosity got the best of me, and I watched Titanic: The Animated Musical in its entirety. The film is, of course, terrible but oh so entertaining to watch. Kind of like watching Mystery Science Theater 3000 rip on Manos: The Hands Of Fate (and I KNOW that, if they were still on the air, they would or would've eventually railed on this movie).

The opening credits alone are an indication of bad things to come. They basically look like the opening credits for one of those cheesy short-films you'd find at a Junior High School film festival. Once the movie's intro comes in, the first thing you'll notice is that the animation is quite poor. In fact, in many cases, the characters are just "talking heads." And let's not even get into those aerial shots of the Titanic (one of which looks like a cheap and totally out-of-place CG clip). Sometimes, the artstyle even changes at random points in the movie. Which makes you wonder if this whole film was produced on an animation assembly line. Even the camera work, which you'd think would be impossible to screw up with a cartoon, is awful. The voice dubs aren't any better. Angelica's is waaaaaaaaay over-acted, the mice can't seem to decide whether they're Mexican or French, and the less said about the Jeff Bridges-esque dog that catches those two thieves, the better.

The film basically has no real plot. You see a group of people boarding the Titanic, along with a crew of Mexican mice (it's never quite explained what those mice were doing in England, or is it explained why they're even boarding the Titanic, since it's technically supposed to be traveling to New York rather than Mexico). Angelica and Will exchange may be two sentences with each other and immediately fall in love (there's even a "flashback" chronicling all two times they've been together). And Angelica, despite only passively mentioning her mother, just randomly "finds her" on the Titanic. Don't expect any depth, chemistry, etc. Basically just a bunch of random actions between boarding the Titanic and the Titanic sinking (which, in and of itself, is pretty unexciting in this movie). The animals, meanwhile, serve little purpose in the film. Except one of the mice gives Angela here necklace back. Otherwise, they're completely useless. The ending is not only an obvious cop-out, but surprisingly happy being that 1500 people were just killed (oh, but as long as Angelica and Will got together, it doesn't matter!). And even though it's called an "animated musical", it has only about two or three songs in it. Oddly, that "Hold me" song is still being sung even as the ship is sinking.

And, of course, there's the character of all characters: The Rapping Dog (named Fritz). I think his rap number has already been pretty well lampooned, so I'll just say that aside from that, he's actually a pretty mundane character. Which, once again, begs the question of where that "rap" actually came from.

The moral of the story? Stay far away from this movie. Even though it's under 45 minutes, it's still a waste. An easy 0/10. And one of the worst films I've ever seen.

Marty26
05-02-2009, 08:31 AM
I should probably also add that the "symphonic score" is clearly synthesized. In fact, it sounds like what you'd hear in an old Super Nintendo game.

Here's a link to the movie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlQq7aDjWqU

And, if you don't want to watch the film, here's the NC's review:

http://www.thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/nostalgia-critic/5605-titantic-the-legend-goes-on

The "Chase"
05-02-2009, 09:40 AM
I bet now you wish I found you that copy of "Jetsons: The Movie"! At least that had eye-pleasing animation! :)

Brandon Panther
05-02-2009, 10:09 AM
Oddly, that "Hold me" song is still being sung even as the ship is sinking.

Well, supposedly in real life the band on the actual Titanic continued playing while the other passengers were boarding the lifeboats.

Even though it's under 45 minutes, it's still a waste.
That's just the American version. The original Italian version is 90 minutes. So, you (perhaps thankfully) only saw half the crap.

Marty26
05-02-2009, 11:02 AM
Well, supposedly in real life the band on the actual Titanic continued playing while the other passengers were boarding the lifeboats.


That's just the American version. The original Italian version is 90 minutes. So, you (perhaps thankfully) only saw half the crap.

Okay, I have a question. If the uncut version is twice the American version's length, does that mean Will and Angelica actually meet each other more than twice before the "flashback with all their times together"? And does that mean Angelica actually has a reason for being the belle of the ball? Also, how does the rapping dog sound?

Marty26
05-02-2009, 11:05 AM
Heh. I just found out that, according to an IMDB poster, many of the movie's American voice actors are former porn stars. Go figure, huh? :rolleyes:

Brandon Panther
05-02-2009, 11:17 AM
Also, how does the rapping dog sound?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_7wSbB6L7w

Fast forward to 4:39.

Now this begs the question, which rap is better? The one in the US version, or Italian version.

Marty26
05-02-2009, 12:04 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_7wSbB6L7w

Fast forward to 4:39.

Now this begs the question, which rap is better? The one in the US version, or Italian version.

I like the American version better, since it was at least funny (albeit unintentionally). The Italian version, while I guess more appropriate, was just lame.

Brandon Panther
05-02-2009, 02:10 PM
If the uncut version is twice the American version's length, does that mean Will and Angelica actually meet each other more than twice before the "flashback with all their times together"?
Negative.

In the 90-minute version, the "flash back of the two times they've met each other" actually occurs when Will is already at the ball waiting for Angelica to arrive. Doesn't make it any less ridiculous though.

Studio Toledo
05-02-2009, 02:23 PM
Well, supposedly in real life the band on the actual Titanic continued playing while the other passengers were boarding the lifeboats.


That's just the American version. The original Italian version is 90 minutes. So, you (perhaps thankfully) only saw half the crap.
In some way, we should be grateful for that 45 minutes, but the extra 12 minutes of end credits was overkill! :-)

I would say the original Italian version felt a little better about the pacing, but at times is still quite a challenge to get though, and the music sounds like a temp track rather than something we'd expect in the 'finished' mix.

Studio Toledo
05-02-2009, 02:32 PM
Heh. I just found out that, according to an IMDB poster, many of the movie's American voice actors are former porn stars. Go figure, huh? :rolleyes:
Interestingly, Fritz and the orange cat Geoffrey is voiced by Greg Snegoff (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greg_Snegoff), who is more familiar to some anime fans for his voices on Robotech and other classic "Streamline Pictures" releases. He doesn't do the rapping part obviously.

Marty26
05-02-2009, 02:36 PM
Interestingly, Fritz and the orange cat Geoffrey is voiced by Greg Snegoff (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greg_Snegoff), who is more familiar to some anime fans for his voices on Robotech and other classic "Streamline Pictures" releases. He doesn't do the rapping part obviously.

Lucky for him. Otherwise, his credibility would be totally shattered.

Studio Toledo
05-02-2009, 02:37 PM
Negative.

In the 90-minute version, the "flash back of the two times they've met each other" actually occurs when Will is already at the ball waiting for Angelica to arrive. Doesn't make it any less ridiculous though.
Guess I didn't notice it!

Studio Toledo
05-02-2009, 02:40 PM
Lucky for him. Otherwise, his credibility would be totally shattered.
That was the only name I noticed in the credits that took my attention!

nickramer
05-02-2009, 04:41 PM
I haven't actully watch the film as I'm not intrested in doing so, but I was wondering. Jim Cummings didn't perfomed in this mess, did he? A man with his talent deserves to be in something better than this.

Studio Toledo
05-02-2009, 08:58 PM
I haven't actully watch the film as I'm not intrested in doing so, but I was wondering. Jim Cummings didn't perfomed in this mess, did he? A man with his talent deserves to be in something better than this.
No he isn't.