Nick
08-14-2004, 05:33 AM
"Cat-Er Role"
(Inside a house with a litter of cute kittens on a cat basket)
Mother cat (to audience) : It seems that my new litter is a hungry, no?
Mother cat: Old litter!
(about ten cats zip in forming a line)
Mother cat: One of you volunteer to bring my new litter some food!
(all cats step back, except for a dumb looking one)
Mother cat: Horace! Go out and get some food, preferably some sort of bird!
Horace: (dumb voice) Yeah! I'm a goin'!
(Horace walks out of the house, past the next one, where a Jimmy Durante-esque canary is in)
Canary: Ahh! Anudder customer! Heres how I has some fun!
Canary: **whistles**
(Horace turns around, seeing the canary)
Horace: Oh boy! Canary!
(Horace runs head first into the door... SMASH!)
Horace: (rubbing his head) **groans**
(door opens, canary steps out. Horace pounches on him, and misses)
Canary: Hey! Junior, ya never gonna catch a canary like that!
Horace: Yeah, but how do I catch a canary?
Canary: Ya need ta use ya brains!
Horace: Brains?
Canary: Yeah, brains! Come inside, I know wheres there's a nice fat canary.
I'll help ya catch 'em!
(Horace walks in)
Canary: (pointing to cage) There he is!
Horace: But there's nothin' there!
Canary: Hmmm. Must be away. (Horace starts to run) Hold on there, junior!
Before we call for 'em, I'll do that, we need ta build a trap!
(later)
Horace: (finishing off a curved ramp for a bowling ball to be rolled) Hand me
the bowling ball!
Canary: (lifts up bowling ball into Horace's arms) Here ya are, get ready, I'll go and call for him.
(Canary walks out of the room, and when unseen by Horace puts on a fat canary disguise and looks at his own ramp)
Canary: READY!
(Horace pushes the bowling ball down the ramp, but the disguised canary pushes his own ramp in front of it. This sends the ball flying into the kitchen, sending a drawer full of knives after Horace, who narrawly dodges all of them. Angry at the canary laughing at him, he grabs a knife off the wall and chases after the bird. The canary hides in a toaster, and Horace sticks his knife down it, the bird switches on the toaster, causing the cat to burn his paw. Horace puts his paw under the kitchen taps, and the canary sticks his tail in the toaster, which sets it on fire. Horace runs out of the house, screaming, and into the garage. The cat puts his tail in a fire bucket, but the canary replaces it with gasoline, which explodes all the cat's fur off)
Canary: (quickly taking off his diguise) Aw well junior. Let's try again!
TO BE CONTINUED, BY YOU!
(Inside a house with a litter of cute kittens on a cat basket)
Mother cat (to audience) : It seems that my new litter is a hungry, no?
Mother cat: Old litter!
(about ten cats zip in forming a line)
Mother cat: One of you volunteer to bring my new litter some food!
(all cats step back, except for a dumb looking one)
Mother cat: Horace! Go out and get some food, preferably some sort of bird!
Horace: (dumb voice) Yeah! I'm a goin'!
(Horace walks out of the house, past the next one, where a Jimmy Durante-esque canary is in)
Canary: Ahh! Anudder customer! Heres how I has some fun!
Canary: **whistles**
(Horace turns around, seeing the canary)
Horace: Oh boy! Canary!
(Horace runs head first into the door... SMASH!)
Horace: (rubbing his head) **groans**
(door opens, canary steps out. Horace pounches on him, and misses)
Canary: Hey! Junior, ya never gonna catch a canary like that!
Horace: Yeah, but how do I catch a canary?
Canary: Ya need ta use ya brains!
Horace: Brains?
Canary: Yeah, brains! Come inside, I know wheres there's a nice fat canary.
I'll help ya catch 'em!
(Horace walks in)
Canary: (pointing to cage) There he is!
Horace: But there's nothin' there!
Canary: Hmmm. Must be away. (Horace starts to run) Hold on there, junior!
Before we call for 'em, I'll do that, we need ta build a trap!
(later)
Horace: (finishing off a curved ramp for a bowling ball to be rolled) Hand me
the bowling ball!
Canary: (lifts up bowling ball into Horace's arms) Here ya are, get ready, I'll go and call for him.
(Canary walks out of the room, and when unseen by Horace puts on a fat canary disguise and looks at his own ramp)
Canary: READY!
(Horace pushes the bowling ball down the ramp, but the disguised canary pushes his own ramp in front of it. This sends the ball flying into the kitchen, sending a drawer full of knives after Horace, who narrawly dodges all of them. Angry at the canary laughing at him, he grabs a knife off the wall and chases after the bird. The canary hides in a toaster, and Horace sticks his knife down it, the bird switches on the toaster, causing the cat to burn his paw. Horace puts his paw under the kitchen taps, and the canary sticks his tail in the toaster, which sets it on fire. Horace runs out of the house, screaming, and into the garage. The cat puts his tail in a fire bucket, but the canary replaces it with gasoline, which explodes all the cat's fur off)
Canary: (quickly taking off his diguise) Aw well junior. Let's try again!
TO BE CONTINUED, BY YOU!